In practicing yoga this morning, I noticed a feeling that I have habitually label as bad – pride. I felt proud at how my practice was progressing and my immediate impulse was to feel repulsion and shut it down.

The Power of Awareness

Instead, I listened (this is a practice that mindfulness teacher Tara Brach encourages). I named the feeling: pride, pride, pride. Then, I felt what my feeling felt like in my body. Then, I asked it, with kind attention, what it needed. To my surprise, I saw that it needed to expand, not contract. I allowed the expansion and then again, much to my surprise, I felt a deep grounding, peace, and self love rather than arrogance.

I realized that my bad attitude toward this feeling had driven negative self-talk and perfectionism. Yes, there are harmful reactions to pride, but pride can also be a beautiful thing.

Excessive Pride

We’ve all seen family, friends, or colleagues be so prideful and blind to their own faults that they stop growing. They confine their world to the one of their limited ego. Most of us have also allowed from time to time this form of pride drive us. Interestingly, false pride is often the ego’s effort of hiding from ourselves a self-view that in one way or another we fall short. Reacting to this form of pride (rather than observing it) can lead to self-centeredness and can drive addictive behaviors.

False Pride

Has there ever been a time when you actually need help but were too prideful for ask for it? I have done this more times in my life than I like to admit. When experiencing this form of pride, we worry that needing others help will show to others that we are weak. Again, it’s fueled by the unconscious belief that in some way we aren’t enough and by asking for help we will be “found out.” We all need help in life. As a life-long friend said to me one time, Fawn, you can’t get through this life alone. Not asking for help also robs others from the joy of giving.

Pride as an Act of Self-Love

Self-pride can also be a very healthy emotion. Feeling proud of an accomplishment, of being a good parent or friend, of growing a skill, can be so healing. It is a way of saying to ourselves “I’m so proud of you. It’s a way of saying to yourself “I love you. I see you. I appreciate you.” With all of the negative self-talk most of us do, it’s so important to also give ourselves that acknowledgment and to really take it in.

Noticing, Not Judging

The next time you notice that you are feeling proud, I encourage you to dig a little deeper. Without judging and with kind attention, notice it, name it, feel it, and ask what it needs. Your answer will not necessarily be the same as the one I received this morning, but I can almost guarantee that it will be one that will surprise you and enhance your life.

Namaste.

Fawn